Christians are straight up FREAKS
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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