haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
