Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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