i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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