Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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