I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
