you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
