She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
we should paint friendship bongs
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize