there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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