Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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