Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize