hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
No subtext here. People are naked.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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