I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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