the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Randomize
