whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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