3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
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Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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