I just cut my nipple shaving
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
