So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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