Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
