tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
