A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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