he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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