she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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