I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
