i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
