I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
