mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
