When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
