i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
