I want to stick my p in your. b.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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