white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
me + whiskey = a bad person
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
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