I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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