One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
