Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
