So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
