I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
