Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
