I can't watch pbs sober anymore
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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