You smell like stripper and shame
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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