I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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