Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
17 year olds will be the death of me.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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