Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
