Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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