I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
