who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
