Welp...herpes.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
