yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
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your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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