He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
