uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
