I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
