we're blogging at a bar
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
