I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
