God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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