The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
