So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
