Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
