why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
