I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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