I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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