you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
