Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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