To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
