aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
